Fear of Success

I have a lingering project in my studio. And it's killing me because, as I've said before, I am a start-to-finish girl. How have I suddenly gotten myself into this position?

3 words: Fear of Success

Way back in my art school days I remember a professor diagnosing me with "Fear of Success". It sounded like the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard. At the time I wanted nothing more than success. Now if he would have said, "Fear of Failure", I would have agreed with that whole-heartedly. So I dismissed those words. And yet, they ended up haunting me for years.

You see, every time I take on a "designed by me" creative project, I stutter at the end. I avoid finishing the last bit of work that needs to be done. For instance, the Woodland Animal embroideries I did for Little Bear's room were all stitched and ready to be framed for a few months before I made myself do it. And once they were done, I sat back...a little shy about the attention they might receive.

I think my professor was telling me to be as creative as I could and let the chips fall where they may. Sometimes those chips fall into the realm of success, and that's part of the creative journey. A single success just unlocks one of the doors on your way. Just one. And there are a million more left to open. Your own personal creative path is a long road that never ends.

It's time to put aside my fears and take care of business. The short-term solution is simple...take a big girl pill and finally finish my first queen sized quilt.

The piecing on the top has been finished, hand-embroidery done, quilt back is sewn, and it even has been to the longarm quilter and back (waving to Stitchlilly right now!). What is left? Just two things. Attaching the binding and hand-quilting the embroidery panels. Everything else will be set aside until this is done.

When this monster is finished I will definitely share my creative process and my inspiration with you. For now, a sneak peek...

This quilt is saying "bind me already!"

Pinwheels, log-cabins and checkerboards playing nice-nice with each other.

There is something about the quilting that just makes all the blocks seem like they belong together.

 Thanks for listening (reading?) to my own personal crazy.

–Cassandra

A Quilt in Process

If there's one thing I can say about myself, I'm not a quitter. I can take on a long-haul project and not lose sight of the end...even at the most sluggish parts of the process. And the end is coming near (near, not here) for a big project have been working on. Remember "The Year of the Quilt"?

I've actually shared with you a lot about the quilt I'm making...and you didn't even know it. My tutorials over this past year for the scrappy log cabin blocks, propeller blocks, pinwheel blocks, staggered strips blocks, and applique blocks were all born from my quilt design process. Instead of sewing a quilt that is a repeat of one type of block, my crazy idea was to create a design that used groupings of a variety of blocks appropriate for a beginner. It promised to be a slower process, but I wanted to learn a lot along the way.

It's an explosion of earth tones.

And boy oh boy, did I learn...

: When it says 1/4 in. seam, take it seriously.
: Using my cutting mat on the floor makes things go crooked.
: Don't get cocky with the razor-sharp rotary cutter.
: Blocks really need to be the right size and properly square if you don't want a nightmare later.
: My sewing room is too small.
: I'm not as slick with a sewing machine as I thought I was.
: Blocks look way more appealing once they are sewn together.
: As always...measure twice, cut once.

Throughout this process I have been both impressed by my new skills and humbled by the amount of times I've had to rip things out and start again. But, I love it. It's fair to say that I am hooked on quilting.

Embroidery in process.

Right now my assorted quilt blocks are all finished and in neat piles, systematically being sewn together to create the larger quilt. What's slowing me down is the hand embroidery I'm adding to the applique blocks. 2 out of the 6 are completed. Once the final 4 are done it should be smooth sailing to create a border and simple quilt back. This is when I hire my friend Stitchlilly to baste my quilt together with her long arm machine so I can (hopefully) quilt it without too much grief. (I will be sure to share any grief with you all here.)

I have had no hard deadline for myself on this quilt. But, I will admit to getting excited to finish now that the end is in sight. Because of course, the next design is already brewing in my head :)

–Cassandra

The Year of the Quilt

I don't know if it just an effect of my spring fever, but I have really had some creative demons roaming around in my mind lately. The kind that nag at me and won't leave me alone until I confront them. This past weekend, I had no choice but to exercise one out. So, instead of cleaning or some such foolishness, I designed and started a full size quilt.

A work in progress...

Stepping backward from the photo above, my creative process actually began with color. The sight of our emerging spring has been my treasure-trove of inspiration. The brown and ochre of last fall is mixed with a million shades of newly budding green. Intoxicating. I have been so distracted on my drive home from work I can barely keep my eyes on the road. These colors are going to be the palette of my quilt.

You know, it's funny, I read a lot of quilt books. Some I own, some I've borrowed from the library. At least a few times a week you will find me on the couch with one in my hands. It's kind of weird because I've never really made a proper quilt, but I really feel like I understand a lot of the "mechanics" of the process from my reading. It also doesn't hurt that I've been taping the Fons and Porter TV Show on PBS. If you check out this link, some are even available to watch online for a fee. Sure, sometimes the aesthetics of whatever they are making doesn't appeal to me, but I have to get past it and focus on the techniques. I know my way around a sewing machine, I can do this (she tells herself).

As I've said before, I think quilting is a whole lot like graphic design. Shapes and spaces working together in a perfect balance of control and chaos. When I sat down with paper and pencil (and the computer after that), I was starting with some base knowledge on a variety of blocks and how they work together. I'm pretty excited about this design I have concocted. It employs a few different types of blocks, some embroidered panels, and some applique. It is still a work in progress...and in my usual fashion, will be until the last thread of the binding has been snipped.

The colors of the wild.

I have purchased some fabric as well as raided my stash to get started. My starting place is the eight 12x12 log cabin blocks included in the design. I love log cabin blocks. They are simple, but with the right fabric choices, can be so colorful at the same time. I am using these blocks as a "chaos" area in my quilt. That means I have been cutting tons and tons of different colors for the "logs". Major time-suck, but it will be worth it in the end...hopefully. :)

Cutting and cutting!

Next week I would love to have a little tutorial (the word tute rankles Alex) ready for you on my log cabin blocks. Until then, I will be cutting and sewing (or possibly sewing and cutting).

–Cassandra